EXCERPT

Maddie jumped at the sound of pounding on her front door.

“Maddie?”

Josh? She glanced at the clock. 11:45. At this hour?

She crawled out of bed and reached for her robe. Not that she’d been asleep. She’d been propped up in bed, trying to take her mind off things by watching old movies and eating expensive chocolate. But not Bogart, nor the creamy richness born of the Swiss Alps, could soothe her.

“Maddie!” He called again, his voice louder, verging on desperate, but the force of his fist on the door had diminished. As if the energy were draining from him even as she padded to the door.

“Josh?” She undid the chain and slid aside the deadbolt. The door swung open to reveal him leaning heavily against the doorframe, his face drawn and his eyes glassy. “Josh, honey. What is it?”

He just shook his head and stepped across the threshold. “I…I just needed to see you.”

Her concern mounting, she closed the door behind him and pulled her robe a little more tightly around herself. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He stared at her for a moment then looked away. “Nothing. Nothing happened.” He headed for the kitchen. “I’m just hungry. You got any popcorn?”

“Josh, you did not come all the way over here at almost midnight for a bowl of popcorn.” She marched after him, her frustration growing and her own worries all but forgotten. He was already rummaging through her cupboards looking for her stash of microwaveable bags.

He said nothing, suddenly very intent on tearing open the plastic, unfolding the paper bag and placing it precisely in the unit. He hit the Start button and the microwave whirred to life. He stared at it, hands braced against the counter, watching the bag twirl as if it held the secrets to the universe.

She moved up beside him, covered his hand with hers. Very softly she said, “Your hands are shaking. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

His jaw muscles clenched, the popping inside the oven accelerated slowly. His eyes never left it. “Where’s Ash? Is he asleep?”

Uncertain why it mattered, she answered without questioning him. “He’s at Laura’s house for a few days. They got a new puppy and he was all excited about taking it for walks.” Her ex-husband’s sister was the only member of that side of the family Maddie got along with and who was still involved in Ash’s life. While they had recently gotten a new dog, that wasn’t the reason Ash had gone to stay with them.

She had no intention of clarifying that with Josh at that moment, however.

“That’s nice. You should get him a dog. A boy should have a dog.”

“I’m allergic to them. You know that.”

He said nothing. The popping inside the microwave became frantic.

She squeezed his hand and was just considering the wisdom of throwing a glass of cold water in his face when abruptly he said, “What are you wearing underneath that robe?”

She blinked in surprise. “What?”

His gaze was on her now, and there was something about it. An intensity. An urgency that stole her breath. His eyes never leaving her face, he traced a finger down the soft, fuzzy lapel. The tips of his fingers brushed her breast so lightly it made her skin burn.

“I gave this to you for Christmas, didn’t I?”

“Y-yes.”

“It’s kind of warm for it this time of year, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.” She swallowed as his hand dipped to the point where the two lapels crossed. “A little.” The truth was she had pulled it out that evening because she wanted to feel warm, cuddled and cared for. Because she’d wanted, so desperately, to feel close to him even though she had lacked the courage to call him and tell him why.

“It definitely is.” His hand slipped inside the robe and touched her breast and she couldn’t bring herself to tell him to stop.

He moved in closer, his head bent so that his forehead almost touched her own. In the background the microwave beeped and the last few kernels of popcorn burst to life. They ignored it.

“You’re not wearing anything under here.” He cupped her breast. “And you’re so warm you’re sweating.” He blew lightly on her chest, sending shivers skittering over her skin and moisture to her center.

He undid the belt and laid the robe open.

“Josh, please.”

He sent a burst of his warm breath across her breasts.

She whimpered. “What are you doing?”

His hands bracketed her rib cage and he held her firm, drawing her tight against him. The feeling of her naked skin against the fabric of his T-shirt was like a drug that washed away everything but the need she felt for him. The need and the love that had been growing for a decade.

His mouth was a breath from hers. “I want you, Maddie.” He whisked his lips across hers, brushed his thumbs across the undersides of her breasts. “Please. I need you so much it hurts.”

She should say no. He sounded a bit too desperate. And he’d been drinking.

She could smell the beer on his breath now, could tell that the glaze in his eyes wasn’t all due to fatigue. She should say no for that reason—and so many others. But she couldn’t bring herself to.

Because the thing was, she needed him too. At that moment she needed him more than she’d ever needed anything or anyone in her life. She needed to feel loved tonight. To not feel so alone. To feel like she belonged to someone.

She just needed to feel. And there was no longer any reason to deny herself. None of her objections were relevant anymore. Perhaps they never had been.

So when his lips joined with hers she made no protest. When her robe fell to the floor she made no move to cover herself. When his hand slipped between her legs she opened herself to him, and savored the taste of his name on her tongue.

 

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