What do women in the new Millenium…want?

 

Well…I can’t speak for everyone, but I think for the most part…

 

I think women want an education and a career.  They want a nice home and to fill it with children. They want a husband to share the responsibilities with them, to help provide for the family, to care for the children, to be their companion and, of course, their lover! They want challenges, independence and autonomy, love, fulfillment, entertainment…and satisfaction.

 

In short…women want it ALL!  And we should get it, damn it! We’ve worked hard to get ourselves to this point, and I think that now, finally, with so many of our other needs being met, our intellectual and financial needs, our need for fulfillment and security…we now have the time, the strength and the courage to pursue those other things that have been too long denied.

 

For centuries men have been the sexual protagonists. They’ve been lauded for sexual skill and adventurousness, patted on the back for sexual conquests. They like sex and enjoy it, and are not denigrated for pursuing it.

 

Well, women want the same consideration!

 

 We want the freedom to explore our sexuality, and to not apologize for fantasizing about those things that our mothers and grandmothers told us were wrong, or dirty or inappropriate for a lady to think about, let alone…DO!

 

THAT is why I believe erotica and erotic romance have finally come into their own. Because women are only now, FINALLY allowing themselves to indulge in the fantasies and to share those needs with their peers, their friends and their lovers. The popularity of movies and TV shows such as Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives and Brokeback Mountain are telling manifestations of that trend.

 

There is nothing more basic, more mysterious or more magical than human sexuality.  There is nothing that has been more constant through human history than a need for and a fascination with sex.

 

Whether we join out of love, desperation, a need for excitement, to procreate or purely for physical release, there is no denying the innate urge to touch and be touched.  To love and be loved.  But, especially for women, there have always been so many judgments, rules and restrictions on how to achieve that. Restrictions on who, when and HOW it is appropriate to indulge in our desires.

Erotic romance is more than smut, glorified porn or steamy entertainment. It’s a benchmark, a rite of passage. It’s part of the process of breaking down those walls. Of legitimizing women’s dreams and fantasies, of empowering them to say, “Hey! I feel like that, and, if you do too…then that must mean…it’s OKAY! I guess that means I’m not strange or kinky or sick after all.” Whether it’s the use of toys, fantasies of domination or of watching two men together… or just the fantasy of being romanced, and making love on a beach amidst sand and surf and moonlight, we all want to know that we’re not alone. And that we have the right to think those thoughts and dream those dreams.

Throughout history women have been expected to think, and act, and feel…and BEHAVE a certain way. Especially when it comes to sex, we’ve had this set of limitations, been expected to occupy this tiny little behavioral box, with only a couple of tiny windows through which to see the world of possibilities and cultivate our fantasies.

Well, as Laurel Thatcher Ulrich says, “Well behaved women rarely make history.” And I, for one, think it’s high time women stop behaving and start making a history of their own!

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